You're so vain you probably think this isn't about you...

You walked on to the yacht like you were walking into a party

Your look stolen from Warren Beaty, your lines were Mick Jagger

You could have had any woman in the room

The old, the senile, the blind drunk were all yours for the taking...

So why the fuck did you hit on me?

I carefully constructed my responses to your questions

Making sure the box I put you back in had a secure lock

Something with a few air holes and a cast iron base

If I couldn't get rid of you politely

The very least I could do was drown you to protect the human race.

A few days later a friend asked if they could pass on my number

"The guy sitting opposite?  Sure!" thinking of the hottie to your left

No one in their right mind could think a female would want you calling

I really need to find some friends in their right fucking mind.

So... 3 months later what did I learned from you?

Never date a guy because his parents are nice.

If he takes you out to to a steak and pasta house 

after you've explained you're a coeliac vegetarian walk off.

If a guy doesn't listen on the first date he won't listen on the third.

What I wish he'd learn?  Rubbing my bottom for an hour isn't foreplay

Making moves on me while I pretend to be asleep is creepy

If you can't handle crowds don't date the youngest of seven

Leave the beard... anything that helps cover up your face 

Anything that helps hide who you really are

Works to your advantage.

Experimental preschooler book

Small steps tap tap tap

Butterfly wings flap flap flap

Birds sing cheep cheep cheep

Snails glide creep creep creep

Piglets snuffle nom nom nom

Drum beat bom bom bom

Calves bellow moo moo moo

Pidgeons call coo coo coo

Burbles burst pop pop pop

Frogs frolic hop hop.hop

Baby rabbits jump jump jump

Desert camels hump hump hump

Little brothers giggle giggle giggle

Earth worms wiggle wiggle wiggle

QUITTER!

I've given it all up

Cigarettes, drink, drugs

Warm nights and sex on rugs

Heavy eyeliner and cheap tattoos

Societal norms, counter-culture taboos

Privacy, being able to sleep

Happiness, never needing to weep

Long bubble baths, the new best seller

Overpriced dresses, a full wine cellar

I've given it all up

Except these three...

Bad rhymes out of place out of time

Caffeine and coffee and cups of tea

And the hope that once again I'll be me...

THROUGH THE WINDOW

Skeletal trees silhouetted

Moon behind shows the bones

Fingers reaching

clawing

creaking

Ice forming in the mind

Shaddows occluding eyes

Thoughts how through leaving

A path, debris, junk

Hopeless

Helpless

Pointless

Worthless

Emptiness fills the void

Harry's Knees


You're in bed, half asleep
That's when you hear that little peep
That sniffling snuffling tiny noise
Of misery from little boys

"My knees they ouch" he soft confides
His tearful face in pillow hides
Teddy bear can't fix this
It's time for mummy's healing kiss

You cuddle him close, not tight.
And soothe his brow throughout his plight
You try and take away the pain
Another story, a sung refrain...

In the end you drift off first
A good sleep this night is cursed
As catercorner he'll repose
(You'll find your nostrils blocked by toes)

To the mum's who fight this fight
And dad's who lose sleep every night
Thank you for your company
Now... who wants coffee?  Who's for tea?

THE VOICES IN MY HEAD: 
or "The emptiness blues"

I don't tell you how I feel anymore 
You used to listen, nod, care...

Now it feels like you're storing the information
Biding your time

Waiting

Waiting

Waiting to use it 
When my body aches like my heart
When the only constant I can sense is tiredness
When the voices in my head scream the loudest
That's when it comes...

"All you ever do is think of yourself...
All you ever do is complain.
You're not the only one tired.
Everyone gets depressed.
Why can't you see it?
Why must you be so selfish?
Why can't you think of me for once?"

All I do is think of you 
Think of the hell that being with me must be
Think you need sunshine and not constant rain
Think how you should be free from my sadness

I don't tell you how I feel anymore...

WE ARE NOT A MUSE


When the darkness hits the muse finds her voice...
She tells me what to write down.
She lives in the dark spaces between the colours of the rainbow.
She visits when things are hardest.
When the drugs are wearing off.
Sometimes I like her songs
Her voice lifts me up and gives me the wings I so desire
Other times she leaves me crushed
Doubting everything and everyone in my life
Doubting my ability to love and be loved

When the darkness hits the muse finds her voice
And the black dog howls along...

Writers Group Exercise: AA Milne

Atroshus spellink
Never stopped Owl's lessons
Kanga and Roo dance

A bear of little
Consequence can still win hearts
Christopher Robin

"Thank you" Eeyore said
"For unglooming me again"
Tail found, reattached.

Bouncing Tigger finds
Heffalumps in his P.J's
Piglet offers hugs.

Bother of bothers!
Honey jars attract Pooh Bear
Fat bottom fills hole.

Spring Rain

Rain against the window
A staccato beat telling me
"Don't think I'll water your plants!
You should have left the clothes out.
I enjoy making them all wet again."
It thunders at me to pay attention,
Random flashes of temper light the room,
Wind howls around corners

Flicking the electricity on and off

Angry children acting out 

Each vying for center stage

On! Off! Crash! Flash! Beating

Ever softer a staccato rhythm

"You ruined all our fun... 

You ruined all our fun..."

Margaret Atwood Quotes

A ratio of failures is built into the process of writing. The wastebasket has evolved for a reason. 

Another belief of mine; that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise. 

Gardening is not a rational act. 

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love.

Their mothers had finally caught up to them and been proven right. There were consequences after all but they were the consequences to things you didn't even know you'd done.


I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary.


In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.


One I truly love of hers:  "Longed for him. Got him. Shit."