You're so vain you probably think this isn't about you...

You walked on to the yacht like you were walking into a party
Your look stolen from Warren Beaty, your lines were Mick Jagger
You could have had any woman in the room
The old, the senile, the blind drunk were all yours for the taking...
So why the fuck did you hit on me?

I carefully constructed my responses to your questions
Making sure the box I put you back in had a secure lock
Something with a few air holes and a cast iron base
If I couldn't get rid of you politely
The very least I could do was drown you to protect the human race.

A few days later a friend asked if they could pass on my number
"The guy sitting opposite?  Sure!" thinking of the hottie to your left
No one in their right mind could think a female would want you calling
I really need to find some friends in their right fucking mind.

So... 3 months later what did I learned from you?
Never date a guy because his parents are nice.
If he takes you out to to a steak and pasta house 
after you've explained you're a coeliac vegetarian walk off.
If a guy doesn't listen on the first date he won't listen on the third.

What I wish he'd learn?  Rubbing my bottom for an hour isn't foreplay
Making moves on me while I pretend to be asleep is creepy
If you can't handle crowds don't date the youngest of seven
Leave the beard... anything that helps cover up your face 
Anything that helps hide who you really are
Works to your advantage.

Experimental preschooler book

Small steps tap tap tap
Butterfly wings flap flap flap
Birds sing cheep cheep cheep
Snails glide creep creep creep
Piglets snuffle nom nom nom
Drum beat bom bom bom
Calves bellow moo moo moo
Pidgeons call coo coo coo
Burbles burst pop pop pop
Baby rabbits jump jump jump
Desert camels hump hump hump
Little brothers giggle giggle gioggle
Earth worms wiggle wiggle wiggle


I've given it all up

Cigarettes, drink, drugs
Warm nights and sex on rugs
Heavy eyeliner and cheap tattoos
Societal norms, counter-culture taboos
Privacy, being able to sleep
Happiness, never needing to weep
Long bubble baths, the new best seller
Overpriced dresses, a full wine cellar

I've given it all up
Except these three...
Bad rhymes out of place out of time
Caffeine and coffee and cups of tea
And the hope that once again I'll be me...


Skeletal trees silhouetted

Moon behind shows the bones
Fingers reaching



Ice forming in the mind
Shaddows occluding eyes
Thoughts how through leaving
A path, debris, junk





Emptiness fills the void


Harry's Knees

You're in bed, half asleep
That's when you hear that little peep
That sniffling snuffling tiny noise
Of misery from little boys

"My knees they ouch" he soft confides
His tearful face in pillow hides
Teddy bear can't fix this
It's time for mummy's healing kiss

You cuddle him close, not tight.
And soothe his brow throughout his plight
You try and take away the pain
Another story, a sung refrain...

In the end you drift off first
A good sleep this night is cursed
As catercorner he'll repose
(You'll find your nostrils blocked by toes)

To the mum's who fight this fight
And dad's who lose sleep every night
Thank you for your company
Now... who wants coffee?  Who's for tea?
or "The emptiness blues"

I don't tell you how I feel anymore 
You used to listen, nod, care...

Now it feels like you're storing the information
Biding your time



Waiting to use it 
When my body aches like my heart
When the only constant I can sense is tiredness
When the voices in my head scream the loudest
That's when it comes...

"All you ever do is think of yourself...
All you ever do is complain.
You're not the only one tired.
Everyone gets depressed.
Why can't you see it?
Why must you be so selfish?
Why can't you think of me for once?"

All I do is think of you 
Think of the hell that being with me must be
Think you need sunshine and not constant rain
Think how you should be free from my sadness

I don't tell you how I feel anymore...

When the darkness hits the muse finds her voice...
She tells me what to write down.
She lives in the dark spaces between the colours of the rainbow.
She visits when things are hardest.
When the drugs are wearing off.
Sometimes I like her songs
Her voice lifts me up and gives me the wings I so desire
Other times she leaves me crushed
Doubting everything and everyone in my life
Doubting my ability to love and be loved

When the darkness hits the muse finds her voice
And the black dog howls along...


Writers Group Exercise: AA Milne

Atroshus spellink
Never stopped Owl's lessons
Kanga and Roo dance

A bear of little
Consequence can still win hearts
Christopher Robin

"Thank you" Eeyore said
"For unglooming me again"
Tail found, reattached.

Bouncing Tigger finds
Heffalumps in his P.J's
Piglet offers hugs.

Bother of bothers!
Honey jars attract Pooh Bear
Fat bottom fills hole.


Spring Rain

Rain against the window
A staccato beat telling me
"Don't think I'll water your plants!
You should have left the clothes out.
I enjoy making them all wet again."
It thunders at me to pay attention,
Random flashes of temper light the room,
Wind howls around corners
Flicking the electricity on and off
Angry children acting out 
Each vying for center stage
On! Off! Crash! Flash! Beating
Ever softer a staccato rhythm
"You ruined all our fun... 
You ruined all our fun..."

Margaret Atwood Quotes

A ratio of failures is built into the process of writing. The wastebasket has evolved for a reason. 

Another belief of mine; that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise. 

Gardening is not a rational act. 

The Eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love.

Their mothers had finally caught up to them and been proven right. There were consequences after all but they were the consequences to things you didn't even know you'd done.

I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary.

In the spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.

One I truly love of hers:  "Longed for him. Got him. Shit."