Twelve Days of Christmas

Unpublished: Exception Facebook


On the first day of Christmas
my mother gave to me:
Some money in an envelope.

On the second day of Christmas
my mother gave to me:
Two body issues
and some money in an envelope.

On the third day of Christmas
my mother gave to me:
Three tea towels
Two body issues
and some money in an envelope.

On the fourth day of Christmas
my mother gave to me:
Four pointless calls
Three tea towels
Two body issues
and some money in an envelope.

On the fifth day of Christmas
my mother sent to me:
Five dirty looks
Four pointless calls
Three tea towels
Two body issues
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

On the sixth day of Christmas
my mother gave to me:
Six feuding siblings
Five dirty looks
Four pointless calls
Three French Hens
Two body issues
and some money in an envelope.

On the seventh day of Christmas
my mother sent to me:
Seven kinds of guilt
Six feuding siblings
Five dirty looks
Four pointless calls
Three tea towels
Two body issues
and some money in an envelope.

On the eighth day of Christmas
my mother gave to me:
Eight headaches beating
Seven kinds of guilt
Six feuding siblings
Five dirty looks
Four pointless calls
Three tea towels
Two body issues
and some money in an envelope.

On the ninth day of Christmas
my mother gave to me:
Nine hints unsubtle
Eight headaches beating
Seven kinds of guilt
Six feuding siblings
Five dirty looks
Four pointless calls
Three tea towels
Two body issues
and a Partridge in a Pear Tree

On the tenth day of Christmas
my mother gave to me:
Ten years of therapy
Nine hints unsubtle
Eight headaches beating
Seven kinds of guilt
Six feuding siblings
Five dirty looks
Four pointless calls
Three tea towels
Two body issues
and some money in an envelope.

On the eleventh day of Christmas
my mother gave to me:
Eleven weak excuses
Ten years of therapy
Nine hints unsubtle
Eight headaches beating
Seven kinds of guilt
Six feuding siblings
Five dirty looks
Four pointless calls
Three tea towels
Two body issues
and some money in an envelope.

On the twelfth day of Christmas
my mother gave to me:
12 reasons to drink
Eleven weak excuses
Ten years of therapy
Nine hints unsubtle
Eight headaches beating
Seven kinds of guilt
Six feuding siblings
Five dirty looks
Four pointless calls
Three tea towels
Two body issues
and some money in an envelope.

Vegan Nursery Rhymes

Unpublished: Exception Facebook

Trying to make nursery rhymes accessible and kinder for younger Vegan and vegetarian children.

THIS LITTLE PIGGY

This little pig did not go to the market

Like this little pig she stayed home

This little pig had roast beets

And this little pig shared some

This little pig laughed wee wee wee

All the way home.

BAA BAA BLACK SHEEP

Baa baa black sheep is there any wool

Yes dear, yes dear, three sheep full

Some on the brown sheep

And some on the white

And some on the little lamb with not a shear in sight.

FISH ALIVE

1,2,3,4,5

Once I saw a fish alive

6,7,8,9,10

I watched as it swam by and then

It swam by me so very fast

And swished it's tail as it went past

It smiled and winked at me and then

Swished it's tail, was gone again